I am an asshole

I am a big asshole. If you have read Seraph's blog, then you might know about my Social Anxiety Disorder and my ever present paranoia. It has been the bane of both of our existences for some time, and every now and then I'll freak out about something stupid. Most recently, I freaked out today about something written on Seraph's blog that I didn't understand (what's worse is that the entry was written a long time ago and the issue has long since past). I feel horrible because, one: I let my paranoia get a hold of me again, and two: Seraph has just now let me read her blog and right afterwards I freaked out about something on there and thus betrayed her trust. She has since forgiven me, but I still feel like an asshole about it. It seems like no matter how hard I try not to hurt her and to do the right thing I always fuck up, which is really frustrating and makes me not very fond of myself. I know that everything's gonna be fine, but I still feel like I need to do something to make it up to her.